Take a day, any day, what do you do with it?
I have such expectations for every day, all the proactive things I will do, the organisational feats I shall pull off, everything I shall achieve. Of course the reality is that what I achieved on any given day will fall vastly short of what I wanted to do, but I usually acheive something even if that progress is infinitesimally small and painfully slow.
There are some people that seem to wake up every day and think “So! How can I make my life that little bit worse today?” before proceeding to do just that. Whether it be handing their contact details to someone absolutely awful, agreeing to be involved in something time consuming and destructive or actually thinking up something nasty to do themselves and going out and doing it. Whether they mean to do that or not, is neither here nor there, they don’t take care not to and effect everyone else in the process.
There is another term for this, much used by self help writer Julia Cameron, and that is ‘muddle maker’ it describes those people who will totally distract your focus and suck away your energy. She uses it in a series of books called The Artist Way, the irony being that if someone has read the wretched thing, they are likely to suck the energy out of others themselves in persuit of their own creativity. Being an artist as far as I’m concerned is mostly about being slightly out of phase with the rest of the world. Just enough to see its workings and its patterned but not enough to go completely mad. A book can’t teach you that, something has to happen to kick your world off its axis. Oh dear! I can hear those lawyers beating a path to my door right now.
Some people seem to get comfort from the chaos they create, they feel unnerved by silence or peace and need to destroy it at the earliest opportunity. They surround themselves in a security blanket of chaos and mess and other messy people and that’s how they like it. There are others though that are unaware they are even doing it, sadly, these people often pass their chaotic ways onto others and create new generations of messiness to help make the world fall apart that little bit more.
Two of the messiest people I have met are dead now, they died much younger than they should have and were younger than I am now, but not before creating children who are now as bigger mess as they are. But then, when I think about those people they grew up in chaos themselves.
It’s a curious thing, you can’t legislate again messiness of the soul and yet it probably causes as much damage as the alcoholism, drug and or gambling addiction that often go with it. You can’t pin it down, you can’t find a line where being a free spirit or being fun turns into a life wrecking disaster. We need diversity, we need a bit of fun in life but there is a point, like in my uber messy cousin Joy, dead at fourty four leaving a thirteen year old son on his own, where the only fun left is the first three letters of funeral.