I have had an ongoing battle for the last couple of weeks or so. I was recently talked into making a few teddy bears, I haven’t done it for a while because it can become very addictive and very expensive. I have sold quite a few in the past month but the place that I originally made them for hasn’t sold a single bear. The thing is, I can tell that people have been eyeing them up because the label is always left with the price tag facing upwards. I have learnt over the years that a luxury item like a one of a kind, handmade teddy bear is not for everyone. You need to fall in love with a bear, you need to hold it and stroke it and feel an almost maternal / paternal need to take it home. But there is a time delay between seeing a bear and picking it up and if one should see the hefty price tag first… Forget it. So, there I go, everyday I turn the price tags downwards again.
All relationships are like that, we all have a certain amount of baggage and/or personality flaws and if we all walked around with them, on a T-shirt for example, visible to everyone else, we would remain single and friendless permanently. My price tag shirt would read, prone to depression, skint, stubborn, brutally honest, doesn’t suffer fools gladly, oh! and snores occasionally. If you saw those before you had a chance to see my good points (of which there may be some if you look hard enough) you would back away very quickly. The idea is that by the time we find these things out about another person, the good outways the bad and we are emotionally invested. That’s why liars and bullshit merchants always get plenty of attention on dating sites and , barring one attempt many years back, I would never use one. So many people lower their age, inflate their bank balance and create imaginary careers for themselves, whereas honest mugs like me are all to painfully human and falable. We all have our price tag and the liars amongst us turn the price tag well and truly face down.
In the real world it is different though, we meet people and slowly they unfold to us. Their personalities become clearer and clearer and they either attract or repel us, sometimes we make allowances, and sometimes we don’t but, by the time we have started to invest in people, the heavy duty stuff comes out and the real cost of a relationship is revealed. It’s then we can really get hurt, the amount of hard work and sacrifice you need to make becomes apparent and you can suddenly discover that the price is too high and suddenly no one is happy. I try and be an open book if I can, I remember that a few years ago I had a painful second date with a girl where I told her that I suffered from depression during a meal and she burst into tears. I still remember watching her crying into her food as she ate it, sobbing all the time. Not the sort of response I expected, suffice to say there wasn’t a third date. I was glad I was honest though. I think a lot of problems come though when people aren’t honest with themselves, when people aren’t aware of their baggage they can present themselves more confidently than they rightly should, but then again, some people undersell themselves when they are actually truly wonderful. Self awareness is a precious quality and I feel it is a vital quality for everyone to develop, it amazing how few do though. It’s a pity there isn’t a trading standards association for people really, everyone would be a lot better off and meeting people a lot less traumatic.