I’ve been pondering this question today after hearing a friend try and defend the behaviour of somebody I absolutely cannot stand. This person, for the sake of argument I shall call them Aristotle Hole, A.Hole for short. Aristotle ticks all the boxes in the “avoid” category, rude, check! racist, check! greedy, check! pushy, check! bullying, check! hypocrite, check! arrogant, check! As far as I can see, there isn’t one nice thing I can think of to say about Aristotle and outside of a small click of people who are mostly as horrible as Aristotle neither can anyone else. It’s not just me, I’ve checked, mr a-hole has a track record for fucking people off that goes back years and when Aris has been nice to people I know, it is because they are of use to him in some manner. The main line of defence was this: Aristotle had a really bad childhood.
The thing is though… This is the worst thing you could say to someone like me because, guess what? So did I! I was dragged up, bullied at school, picked on by the deputy head master daily, moved to a different school picked on for being from the wrong part of the country, subjected to extreme poverty, years of sofa surfing, more bullying, being told I was a piece of shit by my own mother constantly, become a carer to various family members, long running health condition, more poverty, blah blah blah. Guess what? I’m nice to everyone! Well I am until they prove to not be very nice and then, well, fuck em! But Aristotle? Rude, rude, rude, rude! A stick of rat poison flavoured rock with the word Vile running through the middle.
I know people who had much worse childhoods than me though, real bloody horror story nightmares and they are absolute darlings too. Really, really lovely people.
So the question is, why do the likes of Aristotle get away with using their iffy childhoods as an excuse for their appalling behaviour? At what age is someone no longer a product of their environment and are just a horrible person? I know people can change and do but does keep excusing people for acting appallingly because of something in their past actually help them? Or is there a point where you have to turn around and say, “I’m sorry, but you just aren’t very nice, piss off!”
It’s a tricky question I know but when people are allowed to get away with being so unpleasant all that happens is that they just make other people miserable in turn and so on and so forth, passing the shitty parcel down the line ad infinitum and while they might have some reasoning behind why they behave the way they still do, it all sounds hollow to my ears and ArisHole’s feeble excuses in particular.
Me, I’m sick of the excuses, if you can’t be nice, fuck off, and fuck off from pissing all over everyone else’s chips too!