Woohoo! I just had my first internet troll. How cool is that? That is even better than being asked for my autograph on the rare a occasion that it happens (And no, I don’t mean signing for parcels).

You know that you are starting to get somewhere when some bitter and twisted bugger decides to have a pop at you. The only disappointment was that he was daft enough to do it with his own profile picture and he certainly wasn’t Oscar Wilde in the words department or George Cloony in looks, more like a potato in a wife beater vest with an illusion of chin beard drawn on. 

Apparently, my reason for the attention was that I produce, amongst other things, cards and that it is environmently unsound. Whilst I suspect that the real reason for his annoyance is that he probably neither has anyone to get Christmas cards from nor to send to, he had issue with the environmental aspect of the sending and receiving of Christmas cards. To be fare, I do actually agree with him on that to an extent but it is way more complex than that and I suspect the real reason was resentment and a general need to try and bring someone down and try and take lumps out of them, truth is I will never know nor really care. 

Anything to do with the environment is such a contentious issue as pretty much everything anyone does in this world has an impact to some extent or another, what we eat, when we eat it, if it’s in season or glasshouse grown or shipped from abroad. Where we work, how we travel there, how we spend our leisure time (assuming you have any). When we recycle food containers we spend energy heating up water to clean it all, putting out cardboard knowing that it will most likely go all the way back to China to be wrapped around some new piece of crap made from plasticised irreplaceable resources and shipped all the way back again using fossil fuel. I piss myself laughing at a few of the local and highly self righteous environmental activists, driving about, burning petrol in knackered old cars to plant beetroots in a community garden they have created by the railway station, burning diesel to ship in six tons of topsoil because the ground was so poisoned and using so much water that the nearby cafe had their business disrupted. I costed it out to about fifty pound a beetroot in time and resources and the most self  righteous  of the lot of them then buggered off to America on a long haul flight on holiday. 

The truth is, the only way you can be truly environmentally friendly is to go out and kill yourself and even then you would need to jump straight into an industrial tree shredder to have your remains sprayed out as fertiliser. With any other means of disposal we cause all sorts of pollution, wasted energy and space. I feel guilty just being alive and there is no way some sad lump is going to make that worse with some pathetic little dig.

As I said, I was a little disappointed though, he resorted to swearing and insults really quickly, you might as well wave a little white flag and say that you have lost. Not only that, he called me an ignoramus and mispelt it!!! Definition of irony!!! And finished it off by saying that I was self rightious….. after lecturing me on the environment….. Doh!

Well, that was my first troll. I must be on the right path, you always experience turbulence when you take off and all that… I will be ignoring, blocking and deleting them all in future. So on to the next landmark event. Yippee! 


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