A clockwork opportunity. 

I have, on occasion been labled negative, I don’t really get it. In fact, the only thing I’m negative about is negativity, sometimes vocally so. When I see people taking advantage of people, stealing the ideas off others and claiming them as their own, abusing people, manipulating them or putting others in harms way, I say so. Anyway, today I had a plan, go to Bexhill, have lunch with my friend, come home via the printers, pick up the prints I ordered on orange card and get them framed. So today I woke I, got trolled, my lunch meeting has to be rescheduled and my prints were done on white card by mistake. I could have waited about til after lunch for them to be redone, or gone home and come back again. Or… Colour it in myself… No, wait! Write all over it in nadsat, the language used in a clockwork orange. Ooh! Hang on! I can write a little bit of prose in it! Superb! The results are below….

“I, that is Chris and my three droogies sat in the fluffywuffy love cafe drinking moloko plus. That is moloko plus caffeeen, moloko plus chai and moloko plus koko powdor an pinky foamy lumpy bits. We were sharpening up the senses for a bit of the old ultraviolence. Tolchocking a few baboochka an dev’ in a bitva with the bikey litey banda, all big rot gloopy an no mozga they are wot with the graf plot on the scoteena wot all blab an oomny makin things and the no blab gloopy vech an same plot mark, an the real gromky one all blab blab an big bot givin the glazees proper horrorshow an that. The banda I wish all vred as the all gloopy and make me bolny in my guttywuts. I is all bitva real horrorshow with the band here, bands all gloopy, banda of this and that with gloopy things all around, alway all bit rot an more big rot. We crash a big red rollermotor an swoosh it all up an down past the big blue! Choodenessy it was an we were guffin til our guttywuts roared. We viddeees the big baboochka with the blue voloss an to it out with a loud kerumpt! They krovvy ran all over real like the big tap had turned full on.”

You can buy my Clockwork Orange t shirts here.
Badges here
And Christmas cards here

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