The unbearable shiteness of shopping.

shoppingApparently, it is both illegal and socially unacceptable to drop complete strangers with a cattle prod for getting in your way, or for anything else for that matter. I very rarely go into town and even more rarely go in any of the chain stores but seeing as today I thought I would try and buy something in an actual psychical shop. I had a few set missions and I failed in all of them. New pyjamas from Marks and Spencer’s , failed! None in my size. New underpants in same, failed! They were all really boring. The next thing I wanted to do was to compare kindles. I failed in that too. Am I going mad or did Waterstones used to have a kindle section? I never could get it to make sense myself but I’m sure they did. A bookstore selling digital e readers? Definitely  in the turkeys campaigning for Christmas category. Anyway, they don’t anymore and what they do sell is either far more expensive than I could get it for online or… THERE WERE PEOPLE IN THE WAY!!! As someone who gets panick attacks in crowds and when I feel trapped, I try and minimise the time I have to spend in shops and other people just get in the way. They pick things up, stand in front of things, get in front of you in queues and generally make a bloody nuisance of themselves. The only thing I did see in there that I did want was so overhandled that it might as well have been second hand and it certainly wasn’t priced that way. I had a similar situation in HMV, people, overpriced stuff, grrr! In all three chain stores a had the same thought, “what is the point in you?” My whole reason in wanting and e reader, kindle whatever is much the same. As far as I can see it, the publishing industry, as with chain stores, is making itself a total irrelevance. I recently read the, self published, autobiography of maveric author Robert Rankin, in which he talks about the way that the publishing companies are starting to disappear up their own backsides. Requesting their authors to produce works that ape those of other bestsellers, responding to market trends rather than going where their imagination takes them. Consequently, the more interesting writings are starting to appear in electronically published formats that circumvent the market lead publishing industry. Hence the sudden need for a kindle. It’s a situation that hasn’t been helped by the deaths of Iain Banks and Terry Pratchett, there are so few new books to look forward to. It’s such a shame as I adore books, the smell, the weight of words in one’s hands the feel of paper… I find it such a strange irony, I create things, colouring books, t shirts, teddy bears, paintings, all sorts of things, all of which require the thing I find so hard to cope with, people. It is strange, I am a person who looks at films like “I am legend” (although I prefer the “omega man” on which is was based) or dystopian fiction like “the drowned world” and find them strangely comforting. The notion of a deserted world really does have something that is rather appealing. And yet there are people I love, people I like and people I need. I am painfully aware that some of those people who block my path to a swift exit of a shop, want the same things as I do and so put the prices of said things up, people who have booked up the cinemas so I can’t watch  the new Star Wars yet. Even some of the people who may make a nuisance of themselves tonight, being New Year’s Eve, are the same people who buy my stuff, staff the hospital I need to go to, create medicine, make food… The truth is, although I hate to admit, I need people. There! I said it! It doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it though.

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