Being a typical crap bloke who won’t go to the doctors unless I lose a limb in a random chainsaw accident I have been trying to treat my knackered ankle by wearing basketball boots. Apparently, due to all this 80’s retro business that is oh so popular at the moment, hi tops are very “in”.
So there I was, trawling through ebay for said footwear when a thought struck me. What would be the only retro shoe that could definitely never come back into fashion? The answer was clear, the Blockaboot!
The what? I hear you ask.
Back in 1976 there was a schools television program called Good Health, the sort of thing you would end up watching if you were off school for the day. Being the seventies, there was nothing else on during the day. It was either that or the test card. The premise of one particular episode was to promote the wearing of sensible footwear by suggesting that everyone’s feet would go on strike (did I mention this was 70’s Britain?) if they were forced to wear ill fitting shoes.
The example of bad footwear was pretty much a sandal on stilts with another sandal stuck to the base. Unfortunately, the whole lesson of the show was lost on me and for the past thirty odd years I have dearly wished to own a pair. The disappointment I felt when I realised that they were fictional footwear was one of the most profound of my life.
I guess the nearest thing ever brought into production was Vivienne Westwood’s Rocking Horse Shoe but they were actually well designed, if somewhat scary (See left). What I want is something that is utter rubbish, ridiculous and will give me endless hours of fun tottering about the house in. In short, the perfect style item.
So if you are in the shoemaking industry, please make me some blockaboots. Or preferably, make enough for the whole world as wars could never be fought if everyone was shuffling about at one mile a day on a rickety platform shoe tied on by a piece of ribbon.
You can see the original t.v show here…